Clomid. Such an ugly word. Such a hard pill to swallow – pun totally intended. I just started my second round this week. I had to talk myself into it. I had to talk my husband into it. I’m really not sure who suffered more the first time around. Seems funny that my doctor ONLY warned me about some possible hot flashes. I assume waking up in the middle of the night to the feeling of what it might be like to be set on fire is what he was referring to.
What he failed to mention were the REAL side effects. I had to research those myself. And I don’t fault him for this. I mean one quick google search and you fine 1001 ways women aren’t affected by this medication. You also find yourself wanting to sucker punch the ones who write, “Just finished my 3rd round of clomid. Still no side effects, thank goodness!” Yeah, up yours lady!
The label does mention sleeplessness. SLEEPLESSNESS? So that’s what they call it. I think it’s much more aptly defined as the inability to go the f*ck to sleep no matter how hard you try. So now you feel as though you are on fire and awake to suffer through it THE ENTIRE NIGHT. You are exhausted beyond belief. And praying for sleep. But ladies... God just isn’t listening. Not tonight anyway.
And tracking ovulation while on this medication is well, impossible. I peed on $50 worth of sticks to no avail. ERROR. No lines. Nothing. Zilch. NOT cool at 5:30 am every single day. Did I mention last month we were CAMPING at the time? Let me tell you how fun that was. 18 glorious days later, I FINALLY see a smiley face. AND THEN….the pain comes…….
Ladies, this is what I imagine child birth must feel like. Or an exploding ovary. Take your pick. And lucky for me, it lasted for 9 STRAIGHT DAYS. Two trips to the ob/gyn, one ultrasound and a giant bottle of pain meds later, my stomach still hurts and is still bloated beyond belief. Still. 3 weeks later. And this is supposed to get me pregnant how? My husband is literally afraid of me. And frankly it’s hard to baby dance when you are doubled over in pain.
And as if this isn’t enough torture for one month, clomid somehow manages to delay AF by 2 days. And anyone going thru the tww knows that even one extra day is mind numbing but 2 DAYS PEOPLE? I’m lucky I have hair left on my head.
I’ve been telling myself ever since, I can’t do this again. I just can’t go through it. I can’t torture my body like this. But here we are. Another cycle. Another round of clomid. A tiny little pill of hope that I didn’t even hesitate to swallow.
“There are a handful of things I've astounded or astonished myself on being capable of doing, even if at the time they seemed impossible.” ~ Anonymous fellow blogger.
Ah, Clomid. I remember those days. I thought it was a very bitter pill to swallow, not only figuratively but literally. I must say, though, that I was one of the "lucky b1tches" who had relatively few side effects from it. Now the progesterone gel I had to take during the 2WW: that was a different story.
ReplyDeleteI hope you don't ever need it, but if you ever move on to Follistim, I have a pen for injecting it that I'm dying to give someone in need. (Valued at around $200.) Email me at the address in my blogger profile if you want it.