Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Thankful

Of all the things I am thankful for this year, you buddy, are at the top of the list. I can't and don't want to imagine life without you. There just aren't enough ways to express how much I love you and how grateful I feel to be your mom. I hope you always know. Even if you are closer to 8 months in this photo and wearing a onesie that is two sizes too small. 
Fat guy in a little coat....errr...onesie


Friday, November 15, 2013

Truer Words Have Not Been Spoken......

After a local radio DJ announced this morning that his third child was on the way, they asked listeners to call in with "THINGS NOONE TOLD YOU ABOUT HAVING A BABY." The other DJ being a mom of two little ones popped up and said, "no one tells you that after having a baby, for at least the first eight months, you arrive EVERYWHERE late AND you will arrive sweaty." Amen sista, AMEN. Happy Friday (from the girl who has been late to work every.single.day for 7 and a half months)!

Monday, November 11, 2013

Stages

I'm a person who has lived her life always anxiously anticipating the next stage - I couldn't wait until I was old enough to drive, because then I would be free to go anywhere I wanted. Then I couldn't wait to go to college so I could finally be out of my parent's house. And then I could't wait to graduate so I could start working a real job and make some real money. And then I couldn't wait to get meet someone and get married because then life wouldn't be so lonely. The grass always seemed greener. Funny looking back, it wasn't greener, just more to mow maybe. :) It's funny the stages you go through when you're infertile (and I use this term loosely). You start out with hope. SO.MUCH.HOPE. And you keep thinking, if only I could get pregnant, everything would be ok. And when it finally happens, you think if only I could get to 12 weeks, then the risk for a miscarriage goes down. And then before you know it, you are counting down the minutes to 24 weeks when there is a higher vitality rate. If only the nursery were finished, I could relax. If only this baby would come out already so I don't have to worry and worry about how labor will go. And then before you know it, the day is here and you feel like nothing could ever be as good as this moment. Until you can't wait until you can sleep longer than hour long intervals. If only, breast feeding would get better, then I'll be golden. If only, we could get to solids, then I won't have to nurse as much. CUE breaks...............screeeeeeeeeeeching hault. Let me just tell you about THAT stage. There is no scientific explanation for the amount of poop generated by applesauce people. NONE. In fact, I am 100% sure my son pooped out 3 times his body weight this morning. It was 9 hours ago and I am still walking around with a purplexed look on my face. When perusing the babyfood aisle earlier, I did every mom in town a favor and pushed all the prune containers to the back and out of sight. Because well have the folks at GER.BER lost their FREAKING MINDS?!?! To think there was a stage at which I was worried he was constipated. Seriously?! I found myself thinking, I cannot wait until he is out of diapers. And then it hit me, I can't keep living this way. Here I am doing what I do. Only this time I'm wishing my son's life away. NO NO NO. I need to embrace these things, unimaginable diapers and all because it means I still get to hold him, and give him smooches and snuggle and cuddle and so much more that in a few short years he won't even DREAM of letting me do. I wanted to freeze time today just hold him and memorize the curve of his face and the slight upturn of his nose and the way he laughs when I make a poot noise. I need to remember to NOT imagine how better life could be but stop and thank god for every horrible smell and sleepless night caused by this child because frankly life could not get any better than these moments and I am so grateful that I have them. EVEN the moment this morning when he peed in my eye. TRUE STORY!!

Friday, November 1, 2013

Halloween

one of my October 2011 post vs. one of my October 2012 posts vs. today's post. Can we say ROLLER.COASTER.RIDE?! Hoo Wee. I went right back to the very moment in 2011 when I mentioned the pumpkin patch. Last Sunday we decided to be THOSE PEOPLE who take a baby to the pumpkin patch. i had it all clear in my head of how it was all suppose to go. This day I had waited for soooo long. I even teared up as we stepped out of the car, lump in my throat, belly all knoted up, thank you GOD for this moment that i dreamed about......cue the angels singing......

This is what happened next.....

this would be cute if only he could sit up and strangers didn't keep walking behind us

again, if he could sit up. oh and if his vest actually fit


who needs pumpkins with a noggin like this

i don't care about this pumpkin but the grass FUUUUN

oh wait, i DO like this pumpkin

i like it so much i refuse to look at mom taking  my picture

im done with pumpkins AND kisses


So yeah, it was hot, and the sun was blindling, there were hardly any pumpkins in the patch, and my photog skills left a little to be desired. **sigh** But I was there dammit. With my kid, in a pumpkin patch, at Halloween with pictures to prove it. TAKE THAT INFERTILITY.

And there was this....... 



isn't this the scariest dragon (with a mustache) you have ever seen?