Thursday, January 19, 2012

IUI - CHECK CHECK!

My mind is still spinning. I still can’t believe we are already 8 days into a round of IUI. I pinch myself every day… literally. Those shots HURT like a mother. We were prepared for at least 3 months of lup.ron or BC. I wasn’t happy about it mind you, but prepared to trudge through it. But Dr. M – our fertility goddess as I like to think of her – said it wouldn’t be necessary. The scar tissue was worse than the endometriosis so she thinks we can move right along. I almost kissed her on the lips.  Little did she know, it was the day before AF was scheduled to visit.  A quick follow up appointment turned into a ‘holy shit-fire we are learning to give me shots today’ appointment. Before we knew it we were ordering $2000 worth of medications and in a time crunch to have it delivered by cycle day 3.

That ordering experience could be a post all it’s own. In fact, it was all going so well, I just kept waiting for a glitch. Instead of making us come all the way back to the hospital which in itself is no small feat (30 min drive, park a mile away, walk that mile, walk all the way to the Women’s hospital, walk that mile again, PAY to park, driver another half hour back to work. Each appointment feels like a mini marathon) for the injection class, a nurse gave us the quickie version. Before we even left the parking garage I was on the phone with the insurance company verifying they covered nothing. I didn’t have so much as a glimmer of hope that it would. What would have been nice is to have been able to speak to a rep that spoke fluent English.  Do you have any idea how hard it is to keep calm when you are embarking on having a child FINALLY and the person on the other end of the line can’t understand V vs. E?? GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR 

After that we had the daunting task of figuring out which of 4 medications would be cheaper where. I had to go back to work so this was left up to my hubby who still, up to this point, couldn’t keep the different between IUI and IVF straight in his mind. It was kind of cute though. I have never seen anyone research anything so thoroughly in my life. He even made a spread sheet.  I was a tad irritated that he was even now trying to save a buck, but would thank him later when we soon came to realize mixing the shots was pretty easy (we had the more expensive option of premixed pen injections but went with the ‘comes in a billion parts and has to be mixed’ cheapo stuff – I’ve since read its actually more effective but I didn’t dare tell him that!) In fact, he has also taken on the task of mixing the meds for me. I think its help him feel like he is actually part of the process. Either that or he takes great joy in watching me get stuck with a needle daily. Eh, either way, it gets him home early every day!

Oh yeah…the glitch. I took the pharmacy ALL DAY LONG to verify the insurance covered nothing. Even after I told them so. With 45 minutes to spare, our debit card declined. Twice. I was about to throw up. My husband called the bank. They wouldn’t help him since the debit card has my name on it. EVEN THOUGH he opened the account almost 20 years ago. I called the bank. The rep got testy and told me I had to go to our local branch. Needless to say, I told the rep WHAT THE F-CK WAS UP and before I knew it they had kindly upped our daily transaction limit so the charge would go through and I could get my freaking medicine. YEAH. IT’S LIKE THAT CRAZY BANK LADY! WORD!  (envision me throwing gangsta signs here).

Yesterday was my first ultrasound and E2 check. The resident who helped with my surgery did the scan. Boy does she need to work on her concentration face. It closely resembles the look the nurse on American Horror Story had when she saw that Vivienne was in fact carrying the anti-Christ. She found one 13 on the right and 12 and one 11 on the left (bad ovary?) side. E2 was 198. I was told this was all good news. OK? If you say so. We were thrown into this so quickly, I didn’t know what was good or bad. Maybe that’s why I stayed so calm?!!  Hmmm…there might be something to that method.

Tomorrow is my next scan and I pray PRAY PRAY insemination is over the weekend. It’s going to get difficult to hide this from work folks. When the box of meds arrived (you have to sign for them so work delivery was the only option) with a big refrigerate immediately sticker the receptionist wanted to know what it was. I told her a puppy. Her face = PRICELESS!

TO BE CONTINUED…….

Monday, January 9, 2012

Surgery - CHECK!

Now I can stop imagining the worst. It’s over and done with. And I have to say, it wasn’t half bad. Soooo much better than when I was 22 and under the care of a quack. No thanks to him, the main issue was scar tissue. But my current RE, Queen of all that is reproduction, was able to successfully remove all scarring and endometriosis. YAY! DR M. – you da bomb!  
Overall, it was the best case scenario. And I didn’t puke at all, which was my next major concern. Me and narcotics – weeeeell, let’s just say we have a love-hate relationship. I hate to take ‘em and they love to make me upchuck. So much for losing a little weight over the last week though. Ah well, the sacrifices we make!! : )
My follow up is tomorrow at which time we get to discuss the next step in the plan. At our last appointment she hinted at IUI but I’m honestly torn. We are actually very close to saving enough $ for at least one IVF transfer (maybe more if we qualify for Attain) so part of me wonders, ‘why not just go for it?’ while the other part of me dreams of all the baby stuff we could buy with all that money if we don’t have to spend it making the little bugger.
We found out last night that some mutual friends had a 12 week miscarriage over the weekend. I was FLOORED. There are not nicer, more deserving people on this planet. SO then the 3rd part of me thinks ‘what if we spend all the money and THE WORST happens?  What if we get that far along, get excited, and boom, in an instant, it’s all taken away?’ I mean if it can happen to the nicest people on the planet, it can happen to anybody, right?!!
I’m super excited to move forward but all the anxiety I’ve been pushing far, far away put on hold until after the surgery is ready and waiting to rear its ugly head. I know  now that my body can take it, but it’s my heart I’m really worried about.  Here’s praying tomorrow is the beginning of a successful journey of survival growth, dreams come true and the making of a baby!