Parenthood

THIS.SHIT.IS.HARD. Holy crap has this week tried my patience like no other. First little man is teething ( i think because what else could be causing him to scream out in pain all the f'ing time and constantly gag himself because his entire giant fist is inside his tiny little mouth at all times - NOM NOM NOM.) Then, he had Roseola. What the what is that you ask (cause i did)? A COMMON virus that causes a high (make mommy and daddy have a heart attack) fever and then a horrible looking rash all over. Nasty. Oh and then DIARRHEA like you have never seen in your life. And then just when you think this is all behind you, he chose not to sleep all night long. **sigh**  Can I buy Calgon in a 5 gallon bucket?

I know these are all just normal trials and tribulations. In fact, when folks tried to warn me, i think i scoffed and thought to myself, meh... if these idiots can do it, so can I. Well folks, Im starting to question whether i CAN. For real. Maybe i was infertile for a reason. Was God trying to tell me something and I chose not to listen? I mean he doesn't give you what you can't handle right? 

Don't get me wrong. I am not trying to be unappreciative in any sense of the word. I'm grateful beyond words to have my son and can't remember what life was like before him and can't even begin to imagine it without him but dammit I am starting to really feel like a giant failure. I mean Im just REALLY BAD at this. I guess I feel this huge need to nail it like no body's business since well I was given this gift so i better not screw it up. I never thought it would be this hard.

Now add trying to put a house on the market, trying to find a new house in a real estate market that is low on inventory and what inventory there is sells before you can blink, realizing that house you want is not a house you can afford and is too far away from your job but its not near any jobs whatsoever and then realizing money is starting to be an issue in your marriage which leads to constant arguements well because neither of you have slept thru the night in months and you basically have a giant recipe for disaster and a mommy who is about to reach her breaking point. Yes folks there is a good chance Im about to snap clean in half.

Good thing I have this cuteness to bring me back from the ledge.....

Can you spot his self inflicted black eye?????