Friday, September 20, 2013

And the 'parent of the year' award goes to.......

...THIS GIRL right here. Why? Because I sent my child to school aka daycare yesterday in shorts and short sleeves. Then noticed in the car it was 52 degrees. WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP. Good thing he's body radiates heat like a steam sauna.

- I also sent him with cereal for the first time. I KNOW. I can't believe it either. I must try to figure out how to stop blinking so I don't miss another second. I can't wait to hear how it went. Hopefully not like last night.


Sorry for the crappy cell phone pic


Eating solids must be hard work. All i know is he is now averaging about 8 hours of sleep a night. CAN I GET AN AMEN?!?!?!?!?  I mean I can't even believe we made it. In the beginning, when everyone tried to tell me it would get better, i just rolled my eyes and thought 'yeah f--k you.' BUT they were right. 

- We are currently trying to get our townhouse on the market AND house hunting. I'm not sure which is worse on a marriage, having a newborn or this. Who knew it would be soooooooooooo hard and we would disagree on so many things?!?! I knew my husband was analytical, I mean he IS an engineer but holy hell I had no idea the degree to which it extends. Can we say OVERLY ANAL. Good lord man. REEL.IT.IN. At this rate, he would find fault with Cinderalla's Castle. GAH.

- An unmarried friend approached me for advice earlier in the week - she was LATE. I had so many emotions that I cannot even believe how calmly I reacted. I smiled thru it all and tried to give sound advice but on the inside all I could think was 'batter batter swing'. Mean I know but dammit people I am not exactly the best person to ask for advice on this subject. The End. 

- I stopped therapy towards the end of my pregnancy, against my therapist's advice of course. I was glad when it was over because it was becoming a chore. She understood the time constraints but gave me this 'you'll be back' knowing glance. Dammit she was right. I'm starting to think I need it now more than ever before. My infertile self thought having a baby would make everything better. Now I know it just satisfies ONE need/want/void.  The problems stay the same. Or grow.   

- The world scared me a lot before Blake. Major catastrophes just don't even register in my brain because I can't even begin to imagine how people go on after bad things happen. I use to be a news junkie but now I don't even bother with the stuff. ALL.SO.MORBID. Now I am afraid to leave the house. Because oh dear God what if something happened to him. Or me. Or us? How would I/he go on without the other? I can't breathe just thinking about it.  And everything around us seems like a danger right now. I slipped a little getting out of the shower this morning. And omagah what if I really fell, hit my head, knocked myself out, died, leaving Blake without food, diapers, alone for God knows how long without anyone knowing. OMAGAH OMAGAH.  See. Therapy is a MUST.

- I told my husband the other day that if we have another child, i will not do a nursery - just a crib in our room. Done. We spent $500 on a crib that i am convinced Blake will NEVER sleep in. The room is basically were we store his clothes and change his diapers. I don't even nurse in there anymore.  But then I wonder if the nesting instinct kicks in as hard the second time around?!?! Will I go batshit crazy again trying to get all the DETAILS finalized before the birth KNOWING its just a huge waste of time and space?!?!

Happy Friday folks.
   

2 comments:

  1. You're already thinking of a second?! WHAT?? Haaa..
    We're one and done baby :-)
    BTW - went private on my blog b/c of family dramarama

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    1. well unfortunately if we want a 2nd we have to decide quick. im almost 39 and we have two embabies on ice that we have to either use or donate. 3 months ago i would have said no way, no how. but now, who knows. things would have to be different though - i'd need to move closer to family and have some help. thats for sure!!!! how can i read your blog now?

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