Words for Wednesday

I feel this insatiable need to apologize for all the complaining I’ve been doing.  Don’t get me wrong, motherhood is HARD. Harder than I ever thought it would be. So hard, in fact, I regret scoffing at all the advice folks tried to give me while pregnant. They were right about the sleep deprivation!!!!! It will knock you off your feet. But……..

Just to clarify….there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t feel like I’m bursting at the seams with happiness. One little iota of feeling sorry for myself and all I have to do is look at this……

Does this new sunhat make me look fat?

…and all is right with the world. DO NOT think for a minute that I don’t fully appreciate the opportunity that I’ve been given to become a mother.  I should probably be on my knees right now thanking God for it all. And I do, often.  But please don’t think I have forgotten what IF feels like or that I’ve forgotten all of you out there who continue to fight it. My heart breaks for you. I think of you every day and hope and pray and believe that your miracle is just around the corner and you keep finding the strength to go forward. 

I truly hope my posts don't make you roll your eyes. I try soooo hard not to be judgy, condescending, or preachy. I know how bad I hated that when I couldn't get pregnant. In fact, my very best friend is going thru the exact same thing right now and I have to constantly bite my tongue so as not to be "that girl" who gives annoying advice because I think I know something. I just feel so helpless when I don't know how to heal the hurt around me. And sometimes, I honestly just don't know what else to say. 

If it makes you feel any better, I'm not walking around like "look at me world, I did it! I had a baby." Its more like "holy shit balls, I got what i wanted and am now just waiting for the universe to take it all away so please don't ride my ass on the road, get too close to my baby with your germs, and for God's sake please stop letting his head bob around like that - are you TRYING to break his neck???????" **sigh** But I'm working on THAT......baby steps. ha!