We need a break. Far away from shots and ultrasounds and hormones and peeing on sticks. We need to be free and have fun and enjoy being just US (maybe for the last time? I secretly wonder to myself). Today is 6 dpo. I don’t know if I’m pregnant or not. For once, I’m not sure I care. Now when/if AF rears her ugly head next weekend, I will probably beg the flight attendants for a) more vodka b) to open the hatch or c) all of the above.
But until then, I’m going to soak in some bee-u-tee-full scenery, explore caves, check out ghost towns, white water raft for the first time (OMFG) go horseback riding and SHOP, yes holy god shop. (can I get an amen?) and hopefully enjoy a few cocktails or 20. ; )
For now I will be happy and not worry about anything else but having fun and enjoying life. I think we deserve at least a week of that. For a whole week, I won't be infertile.
(Dear God, aside from not letting the plane crash, please please please don't sit me beside a pregnant lady. thank you! Amen)
Hiya! I hope your trip is fantastic! I am happy that you have decided to thoroughly enjoy it without thinking about the "other stuff"...
ReplyDeleteAlthough I decided to stop blogging on IF, as an effort to put that "other stuff" (namely IF) out of my mind...as you can see, it has not stopped me from checking in with you an other IF online friends. Mostly so I can fill my loneliness surrounding Infertility.
Although that decision to stop blogging was one made in an effort to spare me some of the pain...it has not really changed my situation in any way. I am still going through my IF journey, except after the MC, it is in complete SILENCE. I have realized my support network has gone from our parents and my best friend to...No one.NOT.ONE.SINGLE.ONE.LITTLE.PERSON.
My best friend that I trusted and felt safe talking to about my pain, is now 4 months pregnant! She's obviously off my support network.
My parents do not dare to approach the subject of IF or babies or motherhood with me anymore. So they ignore everything and expect that I am now "back to my normal self" (whomever that is!).
My partner's parents expressed to us that they think if we decide to try IVF again to NOT tell anyone, including themselves (obviously to spare them the pain, of any possible mishaps). SO, GREAT. WE ARE COMPLETELY ALONE NOW.
We have been shunned from support, as people want their feelings "spared".
This is what Infertility is: a silent sorority.
Sorry for the rant.
All to say: enjoy yourself, your great trip, be free, ride horses, laugh, and live as if IF never even existed!!!
thinking about you ALWAYS!!!!
DeleteThank you my dear!!! Means more to me than you can imagine...
ReplyDeleteBest to you!
xo