Freaky Friday

Ø    Today I am probably 4 DPO – BOOOOOOORING. I didn’t pee on a single stick. I didn’t take my temperature – not even once.  I’m not even sure we did it on the right days. This month, IF did not rule my life.  I feel so FREEEEEEE!

Ø The new IVF doctor we saw on Tuesday could double as a used car salesman, I swear. He’s gooooood! HA!  I was equally impressed with the office. They were running a tight business but seemed to really appreciate that we thought highly enough of them to come back ( I had an HSG done there last June).  I didn’t have the heart to tell them they weren’t our first choice but I really truly hope they are our last.  Everyone was so nice and accommodating, esp. the front desk. So much better than the hussies who were pregnant and liked to announce it to the world and discuss their ‘ailment’ at top volume. Oh and not one single parenting magazine in the entire building. PROPS!

Ø   I LOVE the sales lady at GNC. I have never set foot inside a GNC until this week. But she was soooooo sweet and highly impressed I had hand written doctor notes to try supplements. She said doctors hardly ever do that anymore. More brownie points for Mr. Dr. M!

Ø   Last night, I sat beside a girl who had a BAD miscarriage a few weeks ago at 12 weeks. They weren’t trying. She’s early 40 something. I kept looking in her eyes for any sign of omg I want to lay down on this floor and die but nothing, nada. Strong people. Pffftttt

Ø   This weekend I am most looking forward to marguaritas and Mexican food, getting back to the gym (yeah I said it!), DYI projects and a jewelry class. That kind of leaves little time for anything else…….so FREEEEEEEE!

IUI - Uncheck......

Well if you are wondering…which I doubt you are, it didn’t work. Just picture me driving a car, throwing fistfuls of money and my heart and soul out the window. Yep, basically my nightmare come true. It’s been a week since we knew. It happened in church no less. I mean why wouldn’t it? Cause right now even God doesn’t seem to give a hootn’ nanny either.. I’ve been thru basically every emotion since. If you haven’t guessed, today is ANGER. 

But I managed to pull myself together long enough to schedule a consultation for next week with one of the highest rated infertility specialist practices in the country.   My gut just tells me this will be better. I need better. Something. Anything. I need options. I need hope. I need someone to tell me that I don’t have to live life without a child.

IUI - Check Check (cont.)

Needless to say, insemination was NOT over the weekend. It was exactly like I suspected it would be, inconvenient and a giant pain in the ass (literally), as is the rest of this IF journey.  I cried when the doctor doing the scan informed me it would be Monday at the earliest. Yep, broke down right there on the table, naked from the waist down, paper skirt and all. He tried to calm me my rubbing my shoulder with one hand but also while waving around the lovely WAND as he talked. Did I mention the wand had just been USED to do the scan.  Bleck. All in all it was a meltdown moment of epic proportions. At least he was kind enough to say the injectibles might be making me emotional. OH REEEEEEALLY? Because my regular RE didn’t seem to think so.  I guess a million bloggers can’t be right!?!?! 

Now don’t get me wrong, things were going very well. Plenty of big follicles and a great E2 level, both right on schedule at the current dose.  And I was very grateful for that. What sucked was having to hide yet another doctor’s appt from my co-workers and boss. Isn’t it sad that the biggest stresser in this whole thing is sneaking around? **sigh**  In fact, up to that point, the biggest pain has been the trips to the hospital every other day.  It’s not quick stroll by any means. It’s a huge university teaching hospital. Half an hour away from home and work. And you don’t exactly  park and skip to the front door. You have to pretty much promise God your first born for a park close to the walkway and by walkway I mean LONG ass catwalk across the street. Then another hike up to the Women’s Hospital.  I always arrive sweaty and out of breath, needless to say. I swear for a week I thought the injectables were causing me hip pain even though I was putting them in my belly. Then it dawned on me one brisk morning walk across said cat walk that the pain was from the freaking daily hike across the world to get to the u/s room.

The good news in all of this, was only two more shots!  WOO HOO!  We are making progress…..albeit slow. Progress is progress. (See me finding the good in something. For Once. IN MY LIFE.)  I made plans to be off for the entire day even though the doctor and nurse and receptionist told me it wouldn’t be necessary. Um yeah it is.  No way I want to risk this entire process although technically I would only be sitting at a desk all day.  but still….it’s my planned conception and I can veg if I want to!!  Veg. Yeah right. Funny. Only if vegging means being bent over all day, crying, praying for God to make the pain go away. Needless to say, the IUI was not the quick, easy, painfree procedure I had been promised. 

First and foremost, I spent the morning trying to convince my DH he was acting like a two year old, whining about his part of the process. I mean really? I would gladly trade the umpteen thousands torturesI have had to endure for what is basically 10 minutes of well, BLISS.  MEN. Who the hell needs them???????  I have never seen anyone looked as relieved as he did when he came out of the lab. Although he spent the next two hours hoping ‘everything’ was okay AND worrying that they might mix his ‘boys’ up with the Asian guy who went in after him. Gee babe – the support is undying isn’t it?! **sigh**To top all that drama off, the procedure hurt.  BAD. It took 3 tries and 4 speculums and the nurse still couldn’t get it right. She went in search of a doctor – at this point I am still surprised that a nurse is in charge of all this – “I’m sorry, you’re NOT a doctor?”  The doctor had no problems getting it all to work. probably because she didn’t hesitate AT ALL and forced the catheter and its contents into my cervix at lightning speed. I later read this isn’t how it is supposed to be done. FANTASTIC. $4000 and everybody’s in a hurry.

SO apparently, according to my RE, I am one of the .0001% of her patients who have pain after the procedure. The internet seemed to view things differently but again, I am entrusting this doctor with my future so I guess I kinda gotta go with what she tells me. Her suggestion: TYLENOL. Really? Tylenol huh? That simple. Well what the hell. At that point I was willing to try anything. She called back to check on my at 10:45pm and asked if I had been crying like that all day. YEP. PURTY MUCH. I was still in a.g.o.n.y. almost 12 hours later. My reproductive organs felt as if they were made of shards of glass. I couldn’t get comfortable. I couldn’t take it much longer. Her two suggestions were either the ER or Perc.ocet. It was an easy decision really. The ER wasn’t coming near my cervix. Sooooo Perc.ocet it was. I actually managed to get some sleep.

And this brings us to today. 9dpo.  And today is the first day I have not felt a single cramp.   Really. Not even remotely kidding.

TO BE CONTINUED…