No side effects, huh? Really? Hmmmm…..interesting but I’m going to have to disagree. STRONGLY. First, let me give Femara the benefit of the doubt by saying it in no way made me want to strangle anyone the way Clomid did. And for that I am thankful. But in Clomid’s defense, at least it didn’t make me feel like I had been hit by a truck. I guess I simply traded the mental for the physical. At this point, so soon after the suffering, I am really not sure which was worse.
What started out as a sniff neck about a week ago (approx. two days after my last pill), turned into the inability to turn my head completely to the left. At least not without searing pain. Luckily by then, I had an acupuncture appointment and she had already planned to treat my neck and upper back. I almost kissed her. Seriously. She even hooked me up to the electrode machine thingy. SO STRANGE. At first, I thought the constant tapping noise would drive me nuts but an hour later, I woke to find I had been drooling on myself. I’m not sure the treatment did much good as here I am 5 days later, still with a stiff neck. But at the time, it brought me some much needed relief.
On Saturday I made it about halfway through a workout at the gym before the building starting to spin and I felt like I was walking on the lower deck of the Royal Caribbean. So much for cardio. I spent the rest of the day on the sofa trying to make that stop spinning as well. The hubs and I fought of course because as usual he seemed non-sympathetic to my suffering . I cried. Puked. Cried some more. This resulted in a beautiful bouquet of flowers and us both scratching our heads because this medication wasn’t supposed to have side effects, right? Word to the wise, GOOGLE is not your friend when you are in the midst of something like this. In fact, it seemed as though only horror stories were available at that very moment even though just days before I could hardly find a bad word written about this medication.
By Sunday, I could barely bend my ankles. Walking was NOT attractive. And we had plans to go boating with friends. Did I mention they have children, 4 and 2? I knew I would not be able to hide the limping nor the sadness in my eyes that is often always apparent when I’m around children. And I really didn’t feel like explaining it to another person who has children and has no idea what the F they are talking about when they try to give you infertility advice. But these folks are somewhat aware of what we have been going through so at least I could just skim the surface maybe if it came to that. Surprise to me, I handled the day REALLY well. The babies were magnetized to me like most kids usually are. At one point during the day I almost felt like the mother was jealous that I was monopolizing the affection of her children. Screw her. I was cuddling the cutest two year old on the planet all day. NO ONE was taking that away from me. HA! Later in the evening, while alone in the kitchen with the mother, I had to confess why I wasn’t up to the task of water sports. Of course she has a friend who has gone through something similar (doesn’t everyone), twice. The first time resulted in a child with downs. **sigh** This is not making me feel better people.
So days on end of headaches, mind numbing nausea, spinning rooms, cranky husbands and painful joints and then there was a smiley face. The OPKS actually worked. And right on time, thank goodness. And then…came the cramps. OUCH. I‘m positive I felt the egg’s trip from start to finish. In fact, I am pretty sure knives, not eggs, made their way through my fallopian tubes.
But it’s over. I think. Aside from a few early morning cramps, I’m back to my ole’ self. You know the obsessive, pessimistic, neurotic TTC’er, pining for a baby every second of every day. Let the TWW begin. Oh boy…..
